For a long time, I made decisions based on what looked right.
The job that sounded impressive.
The routine everyone else followed.
The goals that got the most claps.
But something always felt a little… off.
Like I was walking in shoes that looked good but didn’t really fit.
That’s when I started thinking about values.
Not the kind you hang on a wall.
But the kind you feel deep in your gut.
The kind that say,
“Hey… this is what really matters to you.”
I didn’t know my values at first
It wasn’t obvious.
I didn’t have a list or some big clarity moment.
But I started paying attention.
To the moments that made me feel proud.
To the choices that drained me.
To the people I felt safe being myself around.
Over time, a few themes showed up:
- Honesty
- Simplicity
- Growth
- Freedom
- Kindness
When something aligned with these — it felt right.
When it didn’t — I felt stuck, tired, or small.
I began saying no more often
Not out of rebellion.
But out of respect.
For what I needed. For who I wanted to be.
I said no to late-night scrolling and yes to early morning walks.
No to overcommitting, and yes to deeper work.
No to being liked by everyone — and yes to liking myself.
It wasn’t easy.
But it made my days lighter.
I used my values like a compass
Now, when I’m unsure about something, I ask:
“Does this match my values?”
If the answer is no, I pause.
Even if it sounds exciting. Even if it pays well. Even if others say “you’d be crazy not to.”
Because I’ve learned — if it doesn’t align,
it eventually becomes a weight I carry.
It’s not about being perfect
I still mess up. I still say yes to things I shouldn’t.
But now, I come back quicker.
Because I know what “aligned” feels like.
It feels peaceful. Honest. Energizing.
Living by your values doesn’t mean life becomes simple.
It means you stop betraying yourself.
And that changes everything.
Final thought
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight.
You just need to start asking one small question:
“Does this reflect who I really am?”
Because when your life and your values match —
you don’t have to chase meaning.
You wake up inside it.
